Would you rather I call myself a "diva"?

What is it about the word "fat" that's so upsetting? Why is it insulting to call someone fat? Why, when I was 11, did I throw a stick through a bus window to strike a little boy who yelled "Fatass!" after me as I departed at my stop?

There's a lot of taboo attached to fatness. Fatisity. Fatitude. I like that. "Fatitude". I've always referred to myself as a fat chick. I'm certainly not uncomfortable with it, but I've found that more often than not, it puts people off. They feel compelled to quietly insist, "You're not fat," gasping at the very idea, like being fat is the absolute worst thing I could say that I am.

It has to do with self-image, plain and simple. There's a huge difference between seeing yourself a fat person and seeing yourself as a person who happens to be fat. I fall into the latter category. I was fortunate enough to grow up surrounded by a support system of friends and family who never treated me any differently because of my weight. I've been big my whole life, and of course there have been times when all I've wanted to do was climb out of my permanent fat-suit and go about life like a normal person would, but it doesn't work that way. You either accept the way your body is, or you take steps to change it.

Even after I lose the weight, I can pretty much guarantee I'll still refer to myself as a Former Fat Chick. It's the kind of thing you shouldn't let go of. My BFF Friedrich Nietzsche once said, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger," and since I haven't died from my fatitude yet and I wouldn't be attempting this epic turnaround in my life without it, I figure it's one of those stepping stones, the things that will ultimately make me into a stronger and more well-adjusted human being.

I'm proud to be a fat chick. Everybody needs to start somewhere.