...Pleasedon'thurtme.

I know, I know.

It's been like, 30 years since my last update. I don't even remember when my last weigh-in was. I could offer excuses, but to be honest, anything that I could say that'd paint me in an innocent light would be complete horseshit. (Side note: Really, BlogSpot? 'Horseshit' is a word, but 'BlogSpot' is a typo? Hilarious).

Here's a fact: I've been sucking out loud lately. I haven't been working out because school ate up the last half of my summer and by the time I got home in the afternoons, all I wanted to do was take a shower and pass out. Also, my brother just returned from a year in South Korea, so beer, quintessentially American foodstuffs and inactive afternoons of cartoon-watching were unavoidable.

Here's another fact: I go back to Santa Fe tomorrow, so things will change. I will have access to a free gym (though the sexy soldiers I've been ogling all summer will be replaced by dirty hippies) and I'll be buying my own groceries, assisted by some bitch who lost a ton of weight this summer herself and looks fabulous (and a little bit like Justin Bieber). So things will turn around. They have to.

And finally: I present to you, readerz, a short-term goal. By Thanksgiving this year (that is, November 25, 2010) I will lose 20 lbs. This is doable if I stick to my guns and stop being stupid. So this Friday I will be weighing myself for my personal benefit and on September 3rd, regular weigh-ins will resume. Thank you guys for being so supportive even though I've been so dedicated to being awesome at sucking. ♥

Fat suits and belt loops.

So my darling friend Anna Smith alerted me of this article about our favorite guilty pleasure, Pretty Little Liars. Now, I've already mentioned that Ashley Benson is the absolute opposite of a Fat Chick, and uuuh...it's pretty obvious:

"'I put the fat suit on, and honestly, I almost started crying when I started saying my lines...I felt so sad for her, when she’s asking Sean to go to a party with her, and he’s looking at her like she’s crazy. And he’s trying to be sweet to her. I know what it’s like to have the courage to just talk to a boy, and honestly, tears were welling up in my eyes while I was doing the scene, because I felt so bad for her.'"

QUICK. Someone please explain to me why Fat Chicks are supposed to have low self-esteem! Seriously. Asking guys out really isn't that hard if you approach it with confidence, and if they guy looks at you like you're crazy, he's probably not worth asking out, is he?! Yikes. There should be a disclaimer at the end of this article: "Disregard statements of skinny actor; she doesn't know any better."

In other news, I've hit yet another clothing-related milestone. I only own one belt, as those of you who know me know well ("My fucking pants are falling down." "Damn it, hang on, I need to pull my pants up." "I should invest in another belt.") Said belt is now too big. I have run out of holes and have to make my own in order to tighten it to suit my needs. WOO.

Unfortunately, I don't have much else to say. Things have been kind of kooky and busy around the homestead these days, so I haven't had a normal week or weigh-in in a while. Back on track on Monday, see you then!