...Pleasedon'thurtme.

I know, I know.

It's been like, 30 years since my last update. I don't even remember when my last weigh-in was. I could offer excuses, but to be honest, anything that I could say that'd paint me in an innocent light would be complete horseshit. (Side note: Really, BlogSpot? 'Horseshit' is a word, but 'BlogSpot' is a typo? Hilarious).

Here's a fact: I've been sucking out loud lately. I haven't been working out because school ate up the last half of my summer and by the time I got home in the afternoons, all I wanted to do was take a shower and pass out. Also, my brother just returned from a year in South Korea, so beer, quintessentially American foodstuffs and inactive afternoons of cartoon-watching were unavoidable.

Here's another fact: I go back to Santa Fe tomorrow, so things will change. I will have access to a free gym (though the sexy soldiers I've been ogling all summer will be replaced by dirty hippies) and I'll be buying my own groceries, assisted by some bitch who lost a ton of weight this summer herself and looks fabulous (and a little bit like Justin Bieber). So things will turn around. They have to.

And finally: I present to you, readerz, a short-term goal. By Thanksgiving this year (that is, November 25, 2010) I will lose 20 lbs. This is doable if I stick to my guns and stop being stupid. So this Friday I will be weighing myself for my personal benefit and on September 3rd, regular weigh-ins will resume. Thank you guys for being so supportive even though I've been so dedicated to being awesome at sucking. ♥

Sucktasticity.

I've been such a screw-up this week, guys. Bouncing back to my regimen after the holiday (which was 3 parts awesome and 1 part totally effing ridiculous) has proved to be much harder than anticipated. Everything was closed on July 5th, so I gave myself a lazy day. If bank tellers don't have to go to work, why should I have to go to the gym? My logic is flawless, shut up.

But yeah. I've been a lazy ass all week. I only got to the gym 2 of my 5 days this week. Monday, my excuse was a holiday hangover -- pretty legit, actually. I don't want to puke all over the hot USAF guys who frequent my gym. Tuesday, I had no money with which to put gas in my empty tank (I put my last 77¢ in so I could putter home, at least. A new low). Granted, I could've walked to the gym, but it was raining and apparently, I think I'm the Wicked Witch of the West. Tuesday night, I stayed up until 3 or 4 because I excel at procrastination and had a paper due on Wednesday morning, so I spent most of Wednesday in a delirious haze.

Thursday was the day I finally got my shit together, dragging myself to the gym after some serious mental coaxing and ugh. I'm never taking a long, pointless break like that again. My body seriously didn't thank me for my laziness.

Today was better, thank goodness. Got back on track and then some. My morning motivation was awful, though. I dragged myself out of bed, considering very strongly not going to the gym because I was tired and it is Friday and I am tiiiired. So I brought out the big guns. I weighed in early because after my week of lazy debauchery, I knew there's no way I'll be happy with what I see on Monday morning.

And I was right. I've only lost 1 pound in 2 weeks, which is a pretty stern wake-up call. If I'm say that I'm committing to this process, I seriously need to commit. Telling myself that I have a whole year so there's no sense in worrying and that I can afford to let myself slack off is only going to hinder me and I won't reach my Great Big Goal.

That being said, I know that my entire life isn't going to change overnight. I know that there can't always be successes and that's part of the journey. I'm learning and learning is stupid and hard, but in the end, I'll be better off for it. I promised myself that and I seriously owe me.